


Mistakes Were Made

by Queen_of_Garbage



Series: Inn Fertility [2]
Category: Villainous (Cartoon)
Genre: As in an actual minor, Black Hat is paranoid yay, Minor Character Death, Mpreg, Oh how nice a Halloween special, PLEASE STOP, Tags Are Hard, There is a penguin just sitting here, Turnips, Vomiting, i give up on tags, minor explosions, no actual minors exploding this time, staring at me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-22
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:00:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 14,888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26553988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queen_of_Garbage/pseuds/Queen_of_Garbage
Summary: A random series of random events following the fact that Black Hat gets pregnant. Again. This time with a human. There is no rhyme or reason to these stories, each individual chapter is liable to be all over the place and be of varying qualities. It's not pretty, but it could be worse.
Series: Inn Fertility [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1931095
Comments: 17
Kudos: 25





	1. It Could Be Worse

**Author's Note:**

> Yo, welcome back. Back I suppose if you've read my other fics. Speaking of which, sorry, I was too busy writing the first four chapters of this thing instead of the fourth chapter of that other thing. Anyway enjoy this thing. Please?

To put it simply, the hotel room looked like it had been stuck by a tornado. Maybe one welding sharks. The most normal mess in this room was perhaps the clothes strewn across the floor, but it all went downhill from there. The walls had deep gouges in them, the comforter was torn to shreds, stuffing was coming out through the various cuts in the mattress. And there was blood, dried by now and centered around a meaty mass on the bed. Whoever or whatever this person once was, they were completely indistingishable. The only thing that could be said for certain was that they were most certainly deceased. Not for that long either, this one still clung to the warmth it once held in life.

There was another person in the room, sitting in the corner, away from the bed. He had his head between his knees and he was shaking I'm such a manner that one might have thought he was crying. The man had no clothes on, save for his signature black top hat, so it was easy to tell with just a glance that he was not human. His skin was the same dark gray as charcoal, and if his face were visible the first thing you'd notice would have been his green, toothy maw. All of his digits were clawed, but only it was only the ones on his hands that were caked in that same crusty blood.

The man, no, the demon, signed before standing up, having apparently recovered from whatever events had happened in the room. He walked over to one of the piles of clothes. They were covered in blood too, just as everything else in the room seemed to be, but with a snap of how fingers they were on his body, crisp and clean like as if they hadn't been witness to some gruesome murder. The demon could have given the same treatment too the rest of the room, but he was tired. It had been a long day and his attempt at destressing had clearly failed. So he then instead walked into the darkest shadow in the room and continued walking until he was back at the manor, his home.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It had been a couple of weeks since that brutal murder at the hotel. None of the news reporters could figure out why he was killed, but Black Hat knew. After all, he had been the one who committed this particular atrocity. He did it for one simple, yet obscure fact: demons were aware of their pregnancy the very moment that they become so. Yes, that's right, Black Hat was pregnant. And considering the only rule in the Demonic Code of Ethics that demons really cared about was the "don't harm demon children" rule, there wasn't a thing he could do about it.

Right now, Black Hat was exactly where one might expect to find someone a couple weeks into their pregnancy: in the bathroom with his face hovering just inches above his throne. When Black Hat decided that he was done with his dry retching, he got up slowly, using the wall as support. Unfortunately for him, his symptoms were not the same as before. Much worse actually. With his last pregnancy, all he got was the occasional nausea and the slightly more frequent headaches. This time around, he felt weak, we was sick everyday, his stomach was in sheer agony, and when he stood up too quickly his head felt funny. Lightheaded was the word that came to mind.

As much as he hated the thought of it, he needed help. Dr. Flug was probably the only one who could both help him and was the least likely to stab him in the back in his moment of weakness. Least likely bring that there was still a possibility. He was able to bluff his way through his last pregnancy, but if Flug knew about it, especially so early on, there was no telling what Flug would do to him. But then there was the possibility that if he didn't get help, other villains would see through his bluff anyway, and kill him without hesitation. Weighing his options, telling Dr. Flug about his predicament really was the lesser of two evils.

Black Hat sighed before shadow-stepping into Flug's lab, but as soon as he did, that funny feeling in his head raged into a splitting headache. His body crumpled beneath him as he held his head in a vain attempt at alleviating the pain. Black Hat thought he heard Dr. Flug say something, but couldn't quite make it out before everything went black.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Black Hat came to, it was to Dr. Flug shaking him. What was he doing in his room anyway? And couldn't he see that Black Hat was trying to sleep? He was going to kill as soon as... oh. This wasn't his room and he wasn't in his bed. He was laying on the floor of the lab. He sat up. Bad idea. As soon as he had done this, the room started spinning again, which just made him feel sick.

"Whoa there, take it easy, ok? Wouldn't want you fainting again." He... fainted? That can't be right, he is Black Hat! "How are you feeling?" Under ordinary circumstances, Black Hat would have felt disgusted by this sentiment, but right now... he thinks he needs it right now, so he was disgusted by that instead.

"To be perfectly honest for once in my horrible existence, not good. I feel dizzy and bit sick to my stomach, which feels like it's been wrung out and left in the road to be run over a couple of times. I've actually been experiencing these symptoms for a week now." His stomach made a weird sound at him. "Yeah, there's also that, but I think it's because of the demon-human monstrosities growing in there."

"Wait, you're pregnant again? Um, well in any case, I think I know what's going on. Just stay there, would you jefe? I'm going to go get something for you." With that, Dr. Flug scrambled out the room. Black Hat sat up again, thankfully without the accompanying dizziness. When Flug came back, it was with what he recognized be last night's leftovers.

"Flug, that is a burger. Why would I need this?"

"Well, jefecito, I think you might just be hungry. I thought about it while heating this up, and, well, you mentioned that you were pregnant with human hybrids? So maybe it's the babies that need food, but since they receive nutrients from you, they're forcing your body to respond to their needs. This is just a hypothesis of course!"

"That sounds plausible, I suppose. Alright then, hand it over." Black Hat begrudgingly took the plate from Dr. Flug. The burger on it looked repulsive, the bread was soggy and just barely keeping it together, the lettuce was all floppy, the meat was gray. He could go on, but he did want to get things done today. So he sucked it up and took a bite of this 'burger' and... it was the best thing he's ever tasted. Usually, Black Hat had to be very bored before he would resort to eating food. He had no use for it and it just tasted weird to him. But he could eat ten of these they were that good.

Before he even knew it, Black Hat had obliterated the burger, and more importantly, his stomach was no longer in pain. Not that he would ever let Flug know, but Black her felt grateful towards the scientist. Flug could have killed him at any point during Black Hat's little episode, but instead he actually helped him. Maybe he could trust him.

"Best be going now. Business to conduct, evil to preform, you know, the works." He stood up and for the first time all week there was no 'lightheadedness', no vertigo. He even felt a little less weak than he did earlier. "Adiós."


	2. Hungry Like The Pupper

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't expect this to happen often, but I've decided to veer off schedule and post the next chapter a bit early. This'll make up for the missing chapter of my other fic, right?

The next morning, Black Hat joined his employees for breakfast. Nothing too unusual, he did this every morning. He'd sit there, reading his paper, drinking darjeeling with arsenic. Black Hat laid off the poison since becoming pregnant of course, his spawn was part human after all, but he still enjoyed the tea. 5.0.5. finished serving breakfast to everyone, looked like honey pancakes today. Just as the bear was about to take his seat, Black Hat cleared his throat.

"5.0.5., how rude. You didn't even bother asking me if I wanted anything to eat." He chuckled as he watched 5.0.5. panic and run out of the room, likely headed to the kitchen to make some more pancakes just for him. Soon, the bear was back with a plate of steaming hot pancakes. When it placed said plate in front of him, he counted three. Black Hat was still not used to this 'hungry' feeling, but he didn't like it so he ate the pancakes before him quickly. He had to give 5.0.5. some credit, these pancakes weren't so bad. Too sweet for his tastes, but still tolerable. When he looked up, Black Hat noticed that everyone was staring at him. 

"Well, Dr. Flug already knows, so you will probably find out anyway, but it's best that you hear it from me. I'm pregnant. I do expect you to..." At this point, Demencia started screaming in horror. Maybe telling them wasn't the best of ideas.

"WHO DID THIS TO YOU!? I'M GUNNA RIP THEIR HEAD OFF!!" She yelled other things, but it was completely unintelligible and she was starting to foam at the mouth. Black Hat summoned a tentacle, which he used to slam Demencia's head against the wall, effectively knocking her out.

"Well that was quite the ordeal. So, any questions? No? Good. I will be in my office. Do not disturb me unless you have a very good reason. Good day." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Black Hat really hated being pregnant. First, there was how his spawn made him feel hungry every few hours. Not nearly as bad as before thankfully, but still pretty annoying. Then, there was the tradeoff for satisfying his hunger with food. Now that he actually had something in his stomach to upchuck, his morning sickness was about ten times worse. And the morning sickness was bad enough to begin with! Whoever decided to call it that, he was going to rip out their entrails and use them as a condom. He had been peacefully sleeping before this latest bout of sickness struck, now here he was, kneeling in front of a toilet, and it wasn't even midnight yet.

His throat burned, so he went to the kitchen to make some tea to soothe it. He figured he'd go for tumeric today. As he waited for the water to boil, Black Hat's stomach growled at him, a symptom of hunger as he learned. Black Hat didn't feel hungry, still nauseous actually, but he knew that if he didn't obey his stomach now then he'd just feel horrible in the morning. 

He looked in the fridge only to find nothing, nothing, and yet more nothing. He checked the freezer. Hmm, that ice-cream seemed promising. Eating it, he found that it wasn't bad at all, and more importantly it didn't upset his stomach. He usually didn't like sweet things, but then again he didn't like food in general. Another thing to blame his spawn for. He was about halfway done when Flug staggered into the kitchen. He was about to start up the coffee maker when he seemed to do a double take.

"Jefe?! Are you eating the TUB of ice-cream? You're supposed to eat the ice-cream IN the tub. With a spoon!" Flug's hands were waving around all over the place as he went on his tangent. To be fair, Black Hat was eating the ice-cream, he just didn't know that you weren't supposed to eat the tub as well. In fact, he's pretty sure he saw that blasted bear eat ice-cream from a tub too. 

"The bear gets to eat the tub, why's it so weird when I do it?" 

"What are you talking about? Wait, do you mean an ice-cream cone? That's different! The cone is made of food. The tub on the other hand is made of paper, not food!" The tea kettle began to whistle, so Black Hat unhinged his jaw, swallowed the rest of the now melty ice-cream whole, and poured the boiling water into his tea cup. He heard Flug sigh as the scientist worked on making his own coffee. The smell of brewing coffee only made Black Hat feel slightly nauseous, but still he swiftly fled the kitchen, tea in hand. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I'm telling you, Black Hat was eating ice-cream like an apple, tub and all!"

"Psh, and I'm telling you, there's no way he would do something like that. My bombòn hates sweets you know. And besides, he's way too dignified to be eating the actual ice-cream tub."

"You think I don't know that Demencia? Likely, it's the babies that are the cause-"

"Wait, he really is pregnant? I thought that was some kind of weird dream I had. Wait, but that means he's gay, and that means he'll never love me a-and we'll never get married or have kids together." The lizard girl sobbed hysterically as she spoke these words, making her scientist companion just a little more than a little bit uncomfortable.

"You know, there's nothing saying that he's not bi." She sniffed a bit when he said that.

"You really think so?"

"Yeah, sure. But either way, you have to admit that the ice-cream thing is just plain weird!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does anyone ever feel like it's Thursday, but really it's Wednesday, but all at the same time you really suspect that it's next week Tuesday.


	3. "Are You Alright?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also known as the Halloween special, because it's my favorite holiday. Also, have you guys noticed that they changed the banner for the LA YouTube channel? I love crossover episodes, but there aren't nearly enough of them out there, you know?
> 
> Speaking of crossovers, I wasn't at all subtle about the, heh, "Easter egg" in this chapter. Whoever gets it though is a beautiful person. Comment down below if you do get the reference.

The day was Halloween, which was unsurprisingly Black Hat's favorite holiday. He had originally founded the holiday of course, but he found that he enjoyed how it had changed so vastly over the centuries. However, today Black Hat just wasn't feeling it. His head was killing him and he just felt so exhausted. It was probably around noon by now, and his stomach was doing that thing again where it felt empty and hurt. Despite this, Black Hat hadn't actually left his bed yet and was in fact trying to get back to sleep. Of course, his attempt was interrupted by a knocking at the door. 

"Jefecito? It's 9:51, you uh, missed an appointment with a client. He seems pretty mad about it. He got into a fight with Demencia, actually." It was only Flug, good. If Black Hat ignored him, then he'd go away and Black Hat could go back to sleep. "Jefe, I know you're in here. Are you alright?" Or not.

"Which client." Great, he sounded as groggy as he felt.

"Bunbun, the, uh, knife wielding rabbit?"

"Ah yes, the eater of holidays. Send him over one of my bottles of 151 rum and tell him I won't be making it. He won't question it. In fact, cancel all my appointments today."

"Sir? Are you alright?"

"I'm... I'm fine Flug, I'm just tired. Now go away and do as you are told!" Black Hat winced as he yelled that last part, his headache not taking to the noise. Thankfully Flug didn't hear that and instead walked away from the door. It didn't take Black Hat long afterwards to fall back into the blissful state of unconsciousness.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There was someone in the room with him. A man. Hero, villain, he couldn't tell, but what he could tell was that the man was here to kill him. And he knew what the man knew, that he was weak. He was so completely frozen in fear that even as the man approached him he found himself unable to move. The man stabbed him with a knife he never saw and he was able to taste his own blood on his tongue. The man smiled, a menacing grin that could be seen even through his bag.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Black Hat woke with a start. The dream was already fading but Black Hat still felt the fear. He thought he heard scuttling, so he tried lasering the source. Nothing. Which was fine, everything was fine. So what if he couldn't shoot lasers out of his eyes? There was nothing there anyway, nothing was trying to hurt him. He was Black Hat. Anyone would have to be an idiot to even try. And those who did try wouldn't get past the security systems anyway.

But what if someone did try? What if someone was able to destroy or shut down the security systems? Heck, what if his own employees wanted him dead? Face-to-face, there'd be nothing he could do, his employees would easily be able to-

"Hey there, bombòn. I got the turnips! You said that you'd let me carve turnips with you, so let's go carve them now!" The lizard woman dropped down suddenly from the ceiling onto his bed, and her yelling was doing nothing for his lingering headache. It was true, he did make such a promise to Demencia, but regardless of whether he did, there was no way he was going to tell her no. She was crazy, and with her hopes up like it is, there was no telling what she'd do to him, if he dared to tell her-

No, he should stop this paranoia nonsense. This was Demencia he was talking about, there was no way she would ever hurt him. Demencia loved Black Hat, so what Black Hat should be doing is manipulating her like the puppet she is. Besides, turnip carving had always been one his his favorite Halloween traditions. Black Hat vaguely wondered when people started using pumpkins instead. Turnips really did produce the most horrific results. So perhaps for now, going along with her would be in his best interests.

"Black Hat, sweetie? You're being awfully quiet there, it's everything alright?" Black Hat scoffed at her concern.

"Of course I'm alright, I only just woke up you know. Go get the table set up or whatever, I'll be there in a minute." 

"Ok bombòn!" With that she scuttled off, crawling through the open vent on the wall, rather than simply exciting the door like a normal person. Once she was gone, Black Hat finally made his way of bed. Standing up, and even just moving in general, seemed to aggravate his headache, but regardless he got dressed hastily and left for their rendezvous. 

Before entering the dining room, Black Hat stopped by the kitchen where he picked up some leftovers from the fridge. Taking said leftovers to the dining room with him, Black Hat was greeted by the sight of a large bag of turnips resting on the table, which was covered in saran wrap. Not even just the top portion where they'd be working on, but the legs and even the underside of it were wrapped in it. Currently, it looked as if Demencia was attempting to hollow out one of the turnips with the blade of a Swiss army knife. It didn't seem to be working out very well.

"You're doing it wrong. First of all, you need to cut the top off. Really, how do you expect to hollow out a vegetable with the top still on it? Now, I'm sure you've noticed, but turnips are rather hard, so what you need to do next is you carve a circle here, and then you cut a grid inside it. That will make it easier to dig out the flesh with a spoon." Black Hat looks around the dining room for a spoon. Nothing. "I'll be back, if we're going to do this, we're going to need spoons."

"Oh don't worry about that Blackie, I'm sure I have one in here somewhere." 'Here' turned out to be in Demencia's rat's nest of a mane. After a brief moment of digging, she indeed was able to procure a spoon. Maybe the spoon was bent, rusted, and chipped at the end, but it was good enough for the job he supposed.

"Right, so now you just use the hollow out your turnip and then you carve a face into it like you would a pumpkin I suppose."

"'You suppose?' What, have you never carved a pumpkin? That's like a classic Halloween tradition. How have you never carved a pumpkin? That's it, we got to fix this right away!"

"You do realize the irony behind that statement, right?"

"Nope, I haven't had any iron all day!" Demencia grabbed Black Hat's arm and dragged him out of the chair he had sat down in for the demonstration. The sudden movement made his head explode in pain, the previous dull ache rapidly transforming into sharp, shooting pains, leaving him feeling disoriented. He didn't recognize this woman restraining his arm, but he did know that she was going to hurt him. He slashed at the closest part of her he could with his claws, but couldn't tell if he actually got her in his wild panic. 

The woman let go of his arm and stood there. When Black Hat started to feel relatively normal again, he looked up at her. It was only Demencia. It was just Demencia being Demencia. There was absolutely no reason for that meltdown. Everything was fine. Black Hat was fine.

"Dude, are you sure you're alright? You know what, nevermind that, you can stay here while I go and steal some pumpkins from the grocery store or something, ok?" When Black Hat didn't say anything, she just sighed. "Look, I'm sorry for grabbing you like that. I didn't realize that you were going to freak out. Peacies?"

"Yeah, sure." Black Hat noticed the leftovers from before, having forgotten to eat them in favor of giving the turnip tutorial. He made sure to grab them before retreating to his office. Black Hat remembered that he meant to do a commercial today anyway. A silly thought occurred to him as he was going down the corridor, that they never actually carved any faces on any turnips. Oh well. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Greetings, ghouls and goblins. Black Hat here to present to you this Hallow's Eve my most glorious and gorious weapon. A weapon the fires a out a beam that can liquify anything in it's path, even your enemies."

"From a bar of chocolate to thick walls of steel, all at the tips of your fingers. Just turn the knob here to adjust the settings, pull the trigger, and voilà." Flug explained as he fiddled with the dial on the side of the weapon, which he had dubbed as the Liquidizer Ray. "Today's victim, err, volunteer, is one nuisance that you might be familiar with. Invincible Man! Even if you haven't heard of him, his uninspired name is so on the nose, you'd have to be a literal moron to not be able to figure out what his super power is. Now, let's see how invincibility works with being liquidized. If this doesn't work on heros with this particular power, then nothing short of the awesome power of Black Hat himself will." 

"Hey! My name's not that bad." Were the final words of the unlucky superhero before Flug used his Liquidizer Ray on him. As expected, the invention worked, there was nothing left of the hero save for a puddle of gooey guts and gore. Normally, the sight would have left Black Hat with a sense of a dark satisfaction, maybe he'd even laugh a little, but instead what he felt from it was the rising nausea from his ever present morning sickness.

"Cut," on the other hand, were Black Hat's final words before finding a waste bin to yet again throw up in. 

"Jefecito, are you alright?" Flug just stood there awkwardly, and certainly not doing anything productive.

"Do I look alright? Do I ever look alright anymore? I vomit everyday, I eat things that I hate, my head is bloody killing me, I'm losing my powers." It was this last confession that sent Black Hat into a state of panic. "I'm going to die. I'mgoingtodiethey'regoingtokillmethere'snothingIcandomymateisdeadI'mgoingtodie." In his hyperventilation, even when he heard the slap, and he felt a stinging on the left side of his face, it still took Black Hat a moment to understand what had happened.

"I'm sorry jefe, but you need to breath."

"For the sake of all that is evil, what good would that do me? I am a demon. I don't need oxygen."

"At the very least, it'll give you something else to focus on. Trust me sir, I know panic attacks. Come on, in and out." After doing nothing but breathing for a while, Black Hat really did feel better. In fact, he was starting to feel rather silly about this outburst. "You know, I could build some robots to protect you. Would you like that?" 

"That would be fine, Flug. But first, clean up that mess. The smell of it is making me feel sick again. And you best hurry it up because I'll be wanting blueprints for those robots by the end of the day."

"Right away, jefe."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not entirely happy with this chapter, especially that dream sequence. Maybe I should have made it more poetic? Or have just cut it out entirely and let you assume that what happened. Meh. This whole thing sucks, so I suppose it doesn't matter.


	4. A Continuation on Black Hat Freaking Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> But of overflow from the last chapter. Enjoy? Anyway, on to some fun facts: Cats like knocking things over. Snakes can't have tap water. For some reason, having tap water sit out for 24 hours makes it become snake friendly. CATS LIKE KNOCKING THINGS OVER!! Yep, much fun over here. Thank goodness I don't wear socks.

"Jefecito, I'm going to be taking 5.0.5. and Demencia out trick-or-treating in about thirty minutes. Did you want to come with us? I-I know it's not really your thing, but I wasn't sure if you wanted to be alone right now. You don't even have to wear a costume if you don't want to." Black Hat growled at Flug for daring to go on such a useless tirade. 

But Flug was right about one thing: Black Hat didn't want to be alone. 

"Did you finish those blueprints?" Black Hat sipped at his tea as he read his newspaper. The tea was some kind of 'fall harvest' blend. Nothing of any importance in the newspaper either. Although, it seems that the local heros and villains all agree that Black Hat really was just an old man. 

"O-off course jefe. I'll bring them down in just a moment."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Black Hat looked at all the children running across the street. Disgusting little monsters, really. Black Hat wondered if his own children would be like that, running around, making a ruckus. Black Hat watched as Demencia, dressed as a cowboy, tormented them and stole all their candy. And what about the last batch? It had been a while since Black Hat had thought about them. How long has it been? Four years? Were his previous children old enough to be trick-or-treating like this?

"Jefe? Are you alright?" Black Hat hadn't even realized that he'd stopped walking, or that at some point his hand found its way to his stomach. Once he realized the latter, however, he immediately relocated his hand to his pocket. Flug stood a solid three feet in front of him, wearing his usual ensemble rather than a costume. Albeit he was wearing one of his older, bloodier lab coats. Black Hat wondered whether this was intentional or not.

"If course I'm alright. When am I ever not alright? I'm fine." He was, he really was. If anything happened that's what he brought the lightning ray for. Absolute worst case scenario that's what Flug was for. He was fine. He was safe. Black Hat caught up to Flug in a few swift strides. Unfortunately, it seemed that the abomination the Flug insisted upon keeping was also making his way towards their group. 

5.0.5. waddled in his stupid bumblebee costume right up to Flug to showed off his spoils. It was rather mediocre, only about one fourth of the way full. Demencia already had more full bags than she could actually carry. Why couldn't the dumb bear be more evil, like Demencia, or even himself? Flug did mention that he did use a small amount of Black Hat's DNA, so really, the bear should be-

Something tugged at the back of Black Hat's coat. 

Once again, Black Hat felt that cold, black fear running through his body, whatever passing for demon adrenaline coursing in his veins. He couldn't think. Where was the gun? His pocket, right. No not the coat pocket! The pants! Black Hat fumbled with the grip as he quickly turned around to face his mysterious adversary. Although his hands trembled, he managed to hit his mark. Black Hat knew he had done so because he could smell the stench of burning flesh and melted plastic coming off from the body. The scent was nauseating, so Black Hat opted out of breathing.

This unknown enemy had a suspiciously small body. No, this was no enemy, but some child. Black Hat visibly shook, and the adrenaline leaving his system left him feeling fatigued. People were staring however, so Black Hat stood tall, straightened out his coat, and for good measure, kicked the crispy body, laughing maniacaly.

Dr. Flug stared too, not out of horror like the others, but out of concern. He had seen everything, from the fear in Black Hat's eye to the way he had hunched over from exhaustion before straightening back up. And his laughter seemed off, more like he had gone into hysterics again rather than his usual malicious joy. Dr. Flug slowly reached out for Black Hat, approaching from the right within Black Hat's line of sight.

"Jefe, I think it's about time we head home, don't you?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They arrived home, but that didn't do anything for the tension in the air. Black Hat's... behavior seemed to be off putting to all his employees, even Demencia. He noticed that the woman had taken to biting her nails in some newfound nervous energy. Thankfully, Dr. Flug managed to break the tension, like a hot knife through wet paper, or however the human expression went.

"It's still early, would you like to watch a movie?" A clever tactic, Black Hat thought, using entertainment to distract from the night's earlier events. Personally, Black Hat didn't want to watch a movie, being that he still felt rather drained from earlier. He'd rather go to bed now thank you very much. But he still had to commemorate Flug efforts, especially considering that it did work.

"Ooo! How 'bout something light hearted? My vote's on The Night of the Creeps. I wanna see some leech-roaches erupt from people's brains!" Well, that didn't sound too bad actually. Really, who didn't like bugs, gore, and fire? It looked like the bear had gone over to the kitchen to get food or something. Black Hat certainly wasn't going to complain if he came back with popcorn. 

Flug turned on the TV and put in the tape into the VHS, rewinding it. For some odd reason, when it came to watching TV, VHS was the only method that worked in this house. Cable ever only came in all staticky and DVDs literally exploded upon use. Not even Black Hat could explain that one. The bear came back, indeed with popcorn, just in time for the tape to finished rewinding, and so they got on with their movie night.

Black Hat enjoyed what had became solely his popcorn, but quickly found himself nodding off. He only got as far as getting amusement out of someone bullying the cripple before finally conking out, unbeknownst to him due to how tired he was, on top of Flug.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this chapter sucks more than usual. Then again, part of why I don't like it is because it feels too short, but it's about the same length as most the other chapters, it's just that the last one was twice as long. 
> 
> Meh, I'm just going to blame it on my English teacher. She's having us write two essays at once. Anyway, thank you guys so much for commenting, I'd been starving lately. Plz gimme mor?


	5. Baby it's Cold Outside. Heck, it's Cold Inside. What the Heck Happened to the AC?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Completely unrelated to the chapter but I just gotta say: I love incorrect quotes. They're just so fun. Watched some of Will and Grace with my mother last week and one boy from one episode reminded me of comic 16 (speaking of which, I finally got around to watching Victor and Valentino, and comic 13 is a reference to the beginning of the opening sequence.). Sorry that it's long.
> 
> Demencia: Big news! Hit it! B-I-G N-E-W-S. Big...news!  
> Black Hat: Well, I guess we know it's not you coming out of the closet.  
> Demencia: Correct. I finally found my life's calling, and it involves these two hands.  
> Flug: Ah. So you're going to be self-employed.  
> Demencia: Insert laugh...here. I'm going to be a massage therapist. It was an obvious choice, being that I am a people person. I love people... as long as they're not hairy... or smelly... or have the dreaded bacne, ugh. Ok, I need some guinea pigs. Who's interested?  
> Flug: Smelly.  
> 5.0.5.: Hairy.  
> Demencia: Well, thank you, friends.  
> Black Hat: Bacne? Oh, who am I kidding? It's alabaster from my neck to my ass. I just don't want to do it.  
> Demencia: You are so beautiful to me...
> 
> Source: Will and Grace episode 8

"Flug! Why's it so cold in here?" It was only November, but the winter hit early. Black Hat would usually be fine with this, in fact usually he liked the feeling of frigid air on his skin. But of course, now was the exception, and Black Hat highly suspected that once again his children were to blame for his troubles. Black Hat shivered slightly.

"Well you see jefecito, Demencia broke the air conditioner this morning. But d-don't worry boss, I've already ordered a replacement AC." Flug shivered as well, which was to be expected considering the fact that not only is he a pathetic human, but the man had absolutely no meat on his bones, no fat whatsoever to insulate his weak little organs. 

"And I assume you have a good reason for wasting company resources and not fixing it yourself?" Honestly! The sheer incompetence of his employees was sometimes enough to bring on another one of his headaches. 

"W-well sir, there wasn't exactly anything left to salvage. I've done the math and it really is cheaper and more time efficient to just get another one. It'll be here tomorrow, first thing in the morning." Okay, fine, he'll give Flug that one. 

"Good. It better be. I'd hate to have to go looking for a new scientist already."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was 9 again, this time in the evening. Since that earlier meeting, Black Hat had donned his warmest pajamas and his fuzzy bathrobe. Not very professional, but thankfully he didn't have any other meetings for the day anyway. He was still cold though. 

So cold in fact, that he was having trouble sleeping. Which was why Black Hat was downstairs in the kitchen boiling some water for his tea. He was making chamomile. Black Hat, for the most part, preferred black teas and hated herbal teas. Chamomile he hated the most, but he had heard that it was supposed to help with sleep. Black Hat hoped that that was true, bit if nothing else it would keep him warm at least. 

He could tell from low rumbling noise the water was making on the inside of the tea kettle that it was sufficiently hot. Not so hot that the kettle started whistling of course, as far as he knew only Americans were foolish enough to let it get to that point. He poured the scalding water into his cup, bag and cream already waiting. Black Hat took a seat at the dining table, warming his hands with the cup as he waited for the tea in it to seep.

Black Hat felt tired yet couldn't sleep. What a conundrum, Black Hat wondered if Flug ever had to deal with anything like that. It would certainly explain at least why they even had this terrible tea in the first place. Wait a moment, why didn't he think of this earlier? All that kinetic energy or whatever from all the machines and whatnot made Flug's lab, perhaps, the warmest place in the manor. He'll just sleep there.

Black Hat took a sip of his tea. Bleh, just as awful as ever, and it left this weird 'fresh' feeling on his tongue. Taking a few sips of it too made him feel sick anyway. Black Hat abandoned the tea.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Black Hat didn't even knock before bursting into the lab, comfiest pillow and thickest comforter in hand, or, technically speaking, tucked between his arms. Regardless of terminology the action of quickly throwing open the door to the lab was a noisy one, which ended up startling the poor scientist working in it. Needles to say, said scientist was none too pleased to have his work interrupted, not that he was going to do or say anything about of course.

"Sir? Is there something you need?" 

"No, I'm just going to sleep on the floor over here." Black Hat didn't ask, he just continued on like he owned the place. Which he did. And if anyone complained about it, namely Flug, then he'd make them wish they'd never see tomorrow. How exactly, he was too tired to be sure of himself, but he'd be sure to cross that road when he got there.

"Er, is there any particular reason you've decided to sleep in my lab instead of your room jefe?" Black Hat tossed the pillow on the ground and wrapped himself around the blanket before lowering lowering his body to the ground.

"Couldn't sleep, too cold. I actually tried some chamomile tea to help me sleep, but that didn't work out so I came here where it's warmer."

"You WHAT!? Pregnant wo- people shouldn't be drinking chamomile. There are chemicals in it that can induce contractions, which can be especially fatal to fetuses still in the first trimester, which based on your symptoms, I can assume you are still in. Not even to mention that chamomile could also be contaminated with botulism spores!"

"Like I said, didn't work out anyway. Now shut up before I personally ensure that you have no teeth of which to do the 'th' sound." And Flug did shut up, rather quickly too. Verbally at least, Flug went back to tinkering whatever device it was he had been working on before Black Hat's interruption (what, was he supposed to keep track of every single one of Flug's projects at all times?), and that was noisy. Had Black Hat not been laying on the insufferably hard tile surface, even with what bits of comforter he was able to lay on for cushion, he would have found it to be excellent white noise. The cacophony was instead just as bearable as the floor.

After perhaps an hour of trying and failing to fall asleep, Black Hat elicited to watch Flug instead. Was it just him or the the man seem a bit sluggish? He was taking breaks like he was supposed to right? How else did he expect to work 100% optimally? Come to think of it, what was he even doing working so late anyway? The closest deadline was four days away. Three if it was midnight already.

Black Hat stood up, blanket dropping to the floor, and walked to the scientist. The plan was simple: take Flug, bring him to his room. It was a win-win situation, Black Hat got to sleep on his comfy bed, Flug would be his personal space heater, and his scientist would get a full night's sleep. So he grabbed Flug by the wrist, went back for his stuff, and started to drag the reluctant doctor to his bedroom.

"S-sir, what are you doing?" For whatever reason, Flug seemed scared witless and was actively trying to get away from Black Hat.

"What do you think I'm doing? I'm bringing us back to my room where we can get some actual sleep. I highly doubt that you've been taking care of yourself, and I'd rather not have to find another scientist already. That, and it's cold in my room, and you're warm. Now quit complaining."

Once they arrived to Black Hat's room, the villain himself waltzed straight to his closet and threw a set of pajamas at Flug. He then immediately went to make his bed and then crawled in it, turning away from the doctor in order to give some sense of privacy as well as to be able to say his monocle on the end table. Flug slipped in under the sheets with his boss soon afterwards and wrapped an arm around Black Hat, which the eldritch allowed because yes, Flug was warm.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Flug woke up in the middle of the night from a nightmare. It had been his favorite one it seemed, if by favorite one meant that it was the one that played the most often in his head. But it was also the least terrible one so it was good favorite in that regards too. Just the one where he first came to the Black Hat Manor. You know, fire and pain, darkness and numbness. The usual. The plane was still there, wedged at the top of the manor.

Flug looked over at the sleeping demon. Not that that Black Hat would ever admit it, but currently he was snuggled up against Flug, and with one leg crossed over the de-bagged man's body too. Black Hat's breath was slow and even. Honestly it unnerved him, Black Hat never used to breathe. He remembered when he first met Black Hat how the opposite was true. But ever since getting pregnant with these hybrids, his body seemed to adapt it's own needs to suit the growing fetuses. Such as the whole him being cold thing. Moving on from that toothy maw Flug looked to Black Hat's eyes. Wait no, just eye.

Flug had always suspected that Black Hat couldn't see out of his left side, his reactions to things on that side had always been a tad bit slower than to those on his right. He had thought that maybe Black Hat was blind in that eye or that some old injury had caused him to lose it completely. Having never before been able to see past that monocle, it was impossible to tell. But now he could see that there was nothing there at all, nothing but skin covering what was only reminiscent of a socket. 

Flug then noticed Black Hat's breathing change, getting faster, and his face started to scrunch up. He must be having a nightmare too. Flug shook him, gently at first but harder when that didn't seem to work. He wasn't sure if Black Hat ever woke up, and if he did then he quickly went back to sleep, but he did succeed in shaking Black Hat out of whatever an eldritch would consider to be a nightmare. With this mission complete, Flug resumed the process of going to sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next time Flug woke up, it was to Black Hat scrambling out of bed and rushing towards the bathroom. Flug could hear the toilet being quickly thrown open and Black Hat throwing up into it. There were no windows in the room, and Flug didn't see any clocks either, making it impossible to tell what time it was. It was probably morning though, either way he's had enough rest as it is. Flug was about to leave to get back to his work when Black Hat rentered the room.

"Who said you could leave? I'm not done with you." Hissed the angry pregnant demon. 

"I was just going to work on my inventions. They're not going to invent themselves after all. Actually, that could be an interesting invention, an invention that invents inventions." Flug ended up so lost in his thoughts trying to create blueprints for such a device in his head, he almost forgot that Black Hat was there until he spoke up again.

"Fine, whatever, leave then. I'm going back to bed." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Black Hat finally felt ready to start the day, he went downstairs to get himself some breakfast. It was Tuesday so the bear wouldn't be making breakfast for then. On his way to the kitchen, Black Hat noticed the package at the end of the walkway in front of the manor (the mailman absolutely refused to walk further than the gate). Must be the new air conditioner. So of course, Black Hat went out to get it.

The package was heavier than it looked, but it was still no match for Black Hat's superior strength. Although it did dig uncomfortably into his stomach. Black Hat adjusted the box in his arms. Much better. Black Hat had almost made it back to the front door when it opened for him. The person who opened the door seemed was less than pleased with him.

"Black Hat! I would have thought this was an obvious one. You're not supposed to be doing any heavy lifting!" It was Flug again, always telling him what to do. Who did he think he was anyway?

"First of all, it's not even that heavy to me. Secondly, I want this air conditioner installed as soon as possible. I'd rather not be cold longer than I have to be." With that, Black Hat forced his way past the doctor and brought the load inside. "Now where do you want this?"

"Nowhere! I can have 5.0.5. help with that. You really shouldn't be straining yourself in your condition." Flug's pleading usually was quite entertaining, but now it was getting annoying.

"I am not fine china, and I refuse to be treated as such. Where. Do you want. The box?" Black Hat growled at Flug, before getting interrupted by a certain lizard freak anyway.

"Jeez, when did you two become an old married couple?" Demencia spewed the crumbs of the half-eaten poptarts in her mouth as she spoke. Disgusting. 

"As if I would choose Flug as my mate. He's way too- hey!" As Black Hat was huffing and puffing over Demencia's comment, she snuck up on him (how is she even able to do that!?) and stole the parcel right from his hands. And of course, because Flug and Demencia are apparently now in cahoots with each other, Demencia handed the package off to Flug, who then proceeded to to open it.

"Oh, it's the ultrasound I ordered a while back. Since your children are hybrids that we know nothing about, unless you've been holding out on me, we can use this to monitor their growth, see how many there are, detect deformities and other problems before they become so..." 

"Alright I see your point, let's get this over with." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Considering that it was the best place to set up the ultrasound machine, they went to Flug's lab where Black Hat sat on a table as the man himself worked on the device. Flug worked quickly, fortunately, so it wasn't long before the machine was up and running. He then handed a tub over to Black Hat.

"You'll need to put this on your stomach if we want a clear picture. I hear it's cold, so I figured you'd probably prefer to put it on yourself so it's not too unexpected or anything." Doing as he was told, Black Hat grimaced as the gel he applied to his stomach was indeed cold. Once that part was over with, Flug waved a smaller device over that region. Which is where the fun began. 

The handheld device exploded first, which melted the rubber of Flug's gloves, unleasing an unpleasant odor (which wasn't as bad as melted flesh mind you). Mini explosions continued on, making its way to the main counsel, setting it on fire. As everything around then burned, Black Hat was pretty sure he heard the poor doctor's sobbing amongst the chaos.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter sucks, yadda yadda yadda, let's get a move on. How was your Halloween? Día de los muertos? Mine wasn't too bad, participated in the Nights of the Dead event in EQ2, watched a couple of classic horror films, and made myself sick off of candy. I even got to dress up a little bit. Like 5.0.5., I wore a bee costume. Except for the wings, the straps were too itchy.


	6. Robots, Super Glue, and Nosey Bovines

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ja! You thought that the timeline was set by Halloween occurring in real life? Fool, the fact that I wrote and posted the Halloween chapters in October was completely coincidental, it was this chapter that I half-wrote a while back that actually set the timeline! Then again, this chapter's timeline is actually based on the general timeline of the next chapter...
> 
> Lol what even is a timeline?

"Señor Black Hat, might I ask why there are robots in your office?" That was Metauro, whom Black Hat was currently having a meeting with. It was a valid question, the once empty spaces besides his desk were now occupied by two hulking hat-bot sentinels, one on each side. However there was no way he was going to answer honestly. That would mean admitting not only that he was three months pregnant, but that he had lost all his powers. So Black Hat answered with the lie he prepared beforehand.

"They are here because I like them, they remind me of me. Why do you ask, do they intimidate you?" The best lies tend to be the simplest ones. Never add too many details that could be easily forgotten. It never hurts either if the lie holds some grain of truth either. Black Hat was known to be a vain man, so he based his lie around that. 

"Just curious. About my family though, you said that if I talked about how great this facility is on your commercial, you'd release my family. I did it, I said my lines, you made your commercial, and I'd really like my family back." Admittedly, Black Hat was only half paying attention to Metauro's complaining. It wasn't entirely his fault this time though, his morning sickness was acting up again. Black Hat discreetly pushed a button hidden beneath his desk, which would signal Flug to call him so as to give him some sort of excuse to leave the office so that he may vomit in peace.

"No, I said that I would begin the next phase of releasing them. If you really want your family back, I'd recommend paying me $43,000 before Christmas." Any moment now, Flug will call him, either through the phone-bot or the intercom. He will say that Demencia was getting a bit too rowdy out something and that the situation needed his urgent attention. 

"But señor, that's tomorrow. You know that I don't have that kind of money. Please señor, I'll do anything you ask." Any moment now, come on Flug. Heck, he felt like he could puke any moment now.

"Then I suppose you'll have to rob a bank or something, won't you? Now if you'll kindly leave, I do have other matters to attend to." Good, meeting is wrapped up nicely, he doesn't need to stay anymore. He'll still have to punish Dr. Flug for his tardiness.

"Actually señor, if I'm going to rob a bank on such short notice, I'll need supplies. Weapons, robots, and we'll need to discuss payment for that too." 

"Later, I'm bus-" Black Hat tried growling out, before suddenly putting his hand on his mouth. He was currently throwing up. Peachy. Metauro seemed to pick up on this as he hastily brought a waste bin up to Black Hat's face. Black Hat grabbed the bin and clutched onto it like a lifeline as he reched into it. Metauro squeezed his way to behind the desk and began rubbing circles into Black Hat's back, which the eldritch actually found to be a useful distraction. When he was done, Metauro spoke again.

"You know, whenever my ex was pregnant, she always found peppermint tea to soothe her stomach during her morning sickness."

"Dr. Soler," Black Hat growled threateningly. "You're not saying that I look pregnant, are you?"

"No no no, nothing of the sort señor. I'm just saying that I know a thing or two about upset stomachs is all." Metauro looked at the hat-bots again. Something wasn't quite right. Even if they did look reminiscent of the demon in front of him, these robots felt more like a security force than something to stroke the demon's ego. There was also Black Hat's anger when Metauro mentioned his ex's previous pregnancies. What a weird thing to get upset over. 

Then a thought struck him. Those eggs Black Hat sold all those years ago, which Black Hat had claimed to be genuine demon eggs. Where did he get them from? Another thing, while it was impossible to tell from the other side of the desk, Metauro, being on this side, noticed that Black Hat's clothes seemed tighter on him than usual, particularly around the middle. With all these things starting to add up and connect themselves to each other, Metauro had to ask. "Are you?" 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Personally, Black Hat thought that he handled that whole fiasco very well, no thanks to the incompetence of Dr. Flug. Speaking of whom, Black Hat was on his way to the good doctor's lab for a quick visit. He didn't want much from Flug right now, he just wanted to crush his skull a little. When the Black Hat stormed into the room however, the hilarity of the sight before him made the villain almost forget the reason behind his visit.

"Hi Baguh!!" Demencia seemed to be stuck to the floor in a rather odd angle. Her tongue was stuck too to the floor, which was why her speech was so incoherent. Flug on the other hand was stuck splayed out like a starfish on the ceiling.

"Jefecito, I am so sorry. I had just invented the strongest adhesive on the world when Demencia started messing up everything and then something exploded and we've been stuck here for over two hours and here was nothing I could do when you needed me. I'm sorry!" Ah, the ramblings of this pathetic excuse for a scientist reminded him of why he came here. Lucky for Flug, the doctor had unintentionally put him in a good mood.

"Hmm, how long before you think you can get out from this mess."

"Well, as it stands, it does dissolve on its own after twenty-three hours of being exposed to the oxygen in the air."

"Good. That can be your punishment then." 

"Waip, bon'p leath me bombom!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It had been nearly a week since the incident with Metauro, but Black Hat had bigger problems now. No matter how hard he tried, his pants just didn't fit him anymore. He sighed as he tried not to cry. A stupid thing, crying, but unfortunately for him it seemed that these pregnancy hormones had forcibly loosened his reigns on his emotions. This wasn't something he has been expecting to happen. Sure, he had a bump before in his last pregnancy, but it wasn't nearly big enough for his clothes to not fit him. As Black Hat put back on his looser pajamas there was a knock at the door.

"Jefe, could you explain why one of our clients is locked in the dungeon?" Alright, so maybe when he had said before that he had 'defused the situation', what he really meant was that he had his hatbot sentinels knock out Metauro and lock him away. What else was he supposed to do? Let Metauro leave and come back with some plan of attack? Or even worse, tell others about his newfound weakness? No. Black Hat opened his bedroom door so as to speak with the doctor face to face.

"Because of your incompetence, he found out about my pregnancy. But that's not important right now. Flug, I need you to get me be clothes, none of mine for me anymore." 

"Not important!? He's a client, what if people find out that we just trap clients in the dungeon? They'll be too scared to buy our products anymore."

"Worse comes to worse we make some sort of excuse. Or tell the truth, that Metauro got too nosey and found out something he shouldn't have. We could make an example of of him. But most likely our clients won't care. They are villains after all."

"I suppose you're right. I'll go get those clothes for you then."

"Of course I'm right, I'm always- huh?" Something was going on with Black Hat's stomach, it felt as if snakes were writhing in there. He put his hand on his stomach, in a vain attempt to settle it. Ok, weird, but he almost swore that he actually felt these odd movements with his hand.

He was brought back to reality by Flug trying to get his attention by qtrying to snap his fingers. Trying being that it was physically impossible to make that satisfying click when there were rubber gloves on your hands.

"Sir, are you feeling alright?"

"No, my stomach feels weird. Come feel for yourself." Flug took off a glove glove and approached Black Hat apprehensively. When he placed his hand on the eldritch's bulging stomach however, the bagged scientist's entire face, er bag, lit up.

"Oh my goodness, they're moving" 

"What's moving?"

"The babies."

"The babies? Should they be moving?"

"Well jefecito, with human pregnancies fetal movement is completely normal, and actually signifies a healthy baby, er, babies. Although, I suppose this does mean that you won't be laying eggs this time around." Black Hat hadn't even considered that his brood wouldn't be a brood at all. 

"Well if they're not eggs, then they'll keep growing, and if they keep on growing, then how in Hell's name am I supposed to get these things out of me by the end of this!?" 

"I could always do a cesarean. I've done enough dissections to know my way around a body." 

"Might I remind you doctor that my body isn't human."

"Well it can't be that that different, right?"

"I'm pregnant."

"Fair point."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Try talking while sticking your tongue out and you have my next fic ;P


	7. Thick as Blood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this is awkward, sorry the chapter's so late. Especially considering that this is actually the second chapter for this fic that I started to write. I've really been slacking lately, the majority of this chapter didn't even exist last week. 
> 
> Sooo anyway, how was your turkey day? Over here, we had bought way too much pudding from a family friend who recently started up a business. It wasn't our fault, we told him we'd pay the same amount for half the pudding, but he didn't listen! 1 gallon of milk, .75 gallons of bourbon (we told him to go light, but he didn't listen to that either), 2 boxes of Nilla Waffers, and x amount of bananas. All for us. We couldn't even for it all in our fridge. And then he wonders why he's not making any money off of his business. 
> 
> On the other hand, we bought a pecan pie from him at the same time and unlike the pudding, which was just awful, it was the best thing I've ever tasted. Maaayyybe he should stick to pies.

When the doorbell rung, it woke up nearly all the occupants of the manor. The demon however was the only one to rise out of bed to answer it. Before he left his room, of course, he checked the time on the alarm clock on the nightstand. 3:16. Who in Hell's name would be up at this ungodly hour? True evil, surely. He groaned as he shadow-stepped his way to the front door. But when he opened the door, he was surprised to be greeted by a face he hadn't seen in years.

"Brother! What are you doing here? Oh nevermind that, come inside, you looking freezing." Indeed he did, for it was snowing and the shivering demon outside his door was only wearing a thin t-shirt and a pair of sweat pants. He didn't even have any shoes on. It was odd, both that he seemed to be cold at all as well as the fact that he hadn't even bothered to get dressed before visiting. And had he gained weight?

Once his brother was inside, they made their way into the living room. At least, that's what he thought they were doing. White Hat had gotten to living room first, but instead of his brother shadow-stepping after him like he would have expected him to, White Hat found that he was alone. He was confused, but he took the opportunity to get the fire going in the fire place. When the fire came to a steady roar, his brother finally waltzed into the living room, and headed straight for the cushiony chair by the fireplace. White Hat sat in the couch perpendicular to it.

"Care for some tea?" White Hat said as he summoned a teaset. The pot already had Earl Grey in it, a tea he knew to be his brother's favorite. Black Hat nodded, but seemed distracted, antsy actually. White Hat had already poured the tea into the teacups and was about to pour in some cyanide, when Black Hat spoke up.

"Don't do that." It was strange, Black Hat usually loved cyanide. His brother had always had a peculiar taste for poison, for him to reject it...

"So," White Hat started off nonchalantly, handing over the definitely-not-poisoned tea. "What exactly are you doing here anyway."

"I came here because I wanted to check on the wellbeing of my spawn." Really now, did Black Hat truly believe him to be so naive?

"It's 3 a.m., and it's been four years since you sold him to me, do you really expect me to believe that? I'm a hero, not an idiot."

"No, but that really is why I'm here." Black Hat sighed. "You wouldn't get it, but laying eggs triggers instincts to protect our young. Disgusting really. These instincts have been dormant for years, but... I'm pregnant again, so they're back, just as strong as ever."

"Holy- you're joking, surely you're joking. Either you're the most fertile demon alive, or, knowing you, you're just really unlucky. Maybe both. I'd congratulate you, but you're probably going to sell your children again aren't you?"

"No, I don't think I will. Believe it or not it was very hard for me getting rid of them the first time. I don't think I could go through that again."

"Oh, well congratulations then. How far along are you anyway?"

"Three months, two weeks, six days, and five hours." 

"And these instincts of yours really couldn't wait until morning, huh?"

"Do you really think I'd be here if it couldn't wait? I'd much rather be in bed sleeping I'll have you know, but... I had a nightmare and haven't been able to go back to sleep since."

"Ah, so you think that seeing your son alive and well will help you sleep? Alright then, just be quiet." White Hat got up from his seat and Black Hat followed suit. White Hat made sure not to use his powers getting to the spawn's room. While White Hat didn't know much about pregnancies, he did know that it was common for a demon to lose some of not all of their powers during that duration. It made sense, creating entirely new lifeforms within one's body is pretty taxing. 

On their way White Hat had to check on his brother every so often to make he wasn't lagging behind. Black Hat was struggling to keep up with him, so he tried to keep it slow, he really did. By the time they made it to the room, Black Hat was panting and had his hand resting on his stomach.

"Are you alright?"

"I swear, the next person to ask me that I will flay and use their dermis for a rug in the hallway leading up to Lil' Jack's room. Yes I'm bloody 'alright'!"

"Shh, you'll wake him up." White Hat opened the door slowly and let Black Hat into the room. He wouldn't go in himself, more people meant for a higher chance to wake him up. White Hat would, however, be watching from the doorway, and he would be ready to do anything in case Black Hat's intentions turned out to be ill. But Black Hat didn't do anything beyond caressing the child's cheek with a gentleness that he had never known his brother for. The darker demon sighed, seemingly satisfied, and returned to the hallway.

"So, think you can sleep now?"

"Si, I feel as if I could crash right here and now."

"Why don't you stay here for the night? I'll even let you have my bed."

"Eh sure, why not? 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The sun shone on White Hat's face the next morning from one of the many windows in the White Hat Manor. Since there was a certain somebody in his bed, White Hat found himself waking up on the couch in the living room. Thankfully it was a comfy couch, so there were very few kinks in his back that needed to be cracked out.

Considering the fact that Black Hat was here as his guest, White Hat decided that it would be best if he were to make breakfast soon. White Hat wasn't sure whether Black Hat would want breakfast, or if he even at all ate food, but what he did know was that nausea was a pregnancy symptom so it was best not to expose his guest to the others... questionable cooking skills. So White Hat went up to his own room to ask his brother about his food preferences.

White Hat gently shook his gravid brother's shoulder, to which Black Hat groaned and bat his hand away. The pregnant demon then shifted upwards so that he was sitting in the bed. 

"I'll be making breakfast soon. Not sure if you wanted any but you are welcome to join if you'd like."

"Yeah I'll have some." Black Hat mumbled groggily, rubbing sleep out of his eye. Adorable.

"Oh wonderful, any special requests?"

"Chocolate. And maybe something fruity. Just make it sweet."

"Done." Just as White Hat turned to leave the room, he heard Black Hat scooch back down into the covers. Upon shadow-stepping into the kitchen, White Hat immediately opened up the panty and reached for the bisquick. After that he picked up the bottle of vanilla, some of the real stuff mind you. Unfortunately, it seemed that he couldn't find any of the- no wait, scratch that there it was: half a bag of semi-sweet chocolate chips. Perfect. 

He mixed it all up with some milk and blueberries and poured some of the mixture into a pan on the stove. As he worked he found himself humming some song he heard a few decades ago. At this point it was just waiting until the edges started to curl under, at which point he flipped it, waited some more, put it on a plate, and then rinse and repeat all those steps until there were enough pancakes for everyone to enjoy. 

As White Hat was working on that last pancake, the bear lumbered into the kitchen. It was actually 6.0.6.'s turn to make breakfast today, so upon seeing that it was White Hat cooking breakfast instead, he turned around and started to leave.

"Before you go, would you please tell everyone else that breakfast is ready?" 6.0.6. paused for the duration that White Hat spoke and when he was finished the bear simply grunted in confirmation. Once the bear was gone White Hat got to setting the table. Of course, it was only when White Hat had finished putting the last plate down on the last table mat that he came to the facepalming realization that 6.0.6. had no way of knowing about their guest.

White Hat once again returned to his room to alert his brother that breakfast was finished. He had to wake up Black Hat again it seemed, seeing as the other eldritch had gone back to sleep in the time that he was gone. Thankfully Black Hat was roused more quickly this time.

"Breakfast is ready brother. Do you need help making it to the dining room?"

"I'm not completely crippled, I can walk just fine!"

"So sorry, I didn't mean to offend, I just meant since you're not used to this house that you might not know the way is all."

"Oh, right of course." Black Hat blushed at his mistake. "Alright then, lead the way." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After breakfast, half their party congregated info the living room to enjoy some tea. The bear was the first to leave them, and if he was anything like his best then he was likely off to do the dishes. Then the scientist made off with his spawn to who knows where. So that just left him, his brother, and...

"Sooo, White Hat, who's that with you anyway?" The goat lady inquired. Clementine, Black Hat thought her name was. "He looks a lot like you. Wait a moment, is that your brother!? Why's he so fat?" This female was far too hyperactive for Black Hat's liking. She kind of reminded him of Demencia, actually.

"Yes, this is my brother Black Hat. He's not fat, actually. He's pregnant."

"I can speak for myself you know." Black Hat grumbled beneath his breath. If anyone had heard him, they showed no signs of it.

"No way! You're going to have a baby?!" Black Hat could see stars gathering in Clementine's eyes. Disgusting "Will they be a boy or a girl? Have you thought of any names? Can I feel them?" With the crazed girl speaking at about sixty miles an hour, Black Hat barely caught onto a single word she said, not did he notice her hand reaching for his belly until it was already there.

Simply at the strange woman's touch, Black Hat could feel another one of his panic attacks coming on. Fight or flight instincts going haywire, screaming for him to perform the latter. He wanted to go home, it wasn't safe here. Black Hat could feel his breath picking up in pace, yet the girl remained oblivious.

"Clementia dear, I think that's enough for now. Remember, Black Hat doesn't know you, and you know what we've said about being touchy with strangers." Never before now had Black Hat ever been more grateful towards his brother. The girl backed off, and with that, Black Hat relaxed a little.

"Heh, sorry about that. But I got to feel them move! That was pretty cool."

"Hate to break it to you, but Black Hat's laying eggs, so you couldn't possibly have felt-"

"Actually, the father's a human." Black Hat interjected, still a bit in a daze. The demon reached for his tea, which was English breakfast. The ripples of the tea within his cup made it glaringly obvious of how shaky he was from his most recent episode.

"Ja! I knew it! I knew you and that cute scientist of yours had a thing going on." Black Hat started choking on his tea.

"Are you trying to kill me? No, Dr. Flug and I don't 'have a thing going on' and we never will. And what do you mean 'cute'? You've never even seen his face! It's hideous by the way." 

"Alright, if you say so." White Hat wiggled his antenna. Black hat didn't even bother to grace his brother with a response. He just gave him a bird.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol I was going to try and update the tags to include White Hat as a character in this fic, but it looks like I already beat myself to it. Well, here he finally is.
> 
> Bonus
> 
> WH: so how'd you even get here anyway?   
> BH: oh, I used a teleporter Dr. Flug made a while back. Couldn't sell it on the market unfortunately, it tends to make people go insane.  
> WH: !!


	8. Dribble Drabble

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Holidays, feliz navidad, all that! By the way, if you guys didn't already know, Epic Games is giving away a free game every day until the end of the year. Unfortunately it was being a bit buggy yesterday, so I wasn't able to get Alien: Isolation. Ja! On the bright side, I got a goose! I will cook it tomorrow and all will be well.

To say that Black Hat was not having a good day would be an understatement. He seemed to be at that point in his pregnancy where just everything was pain. The headache that has persisted throughout the majority of his pregnancy was of course present once more. Black Hat massaged his temples. This had gotten old months ago. But now being as far along as he was while carrying live spawn brought him new pains. Swollen joints, achy legs, and lumbago had all become the new norm for him. Not even his intestines were safe, the organ also in duress due to the spawn's frequent moving and kicking. Yippie skippie.

Brrrring! Brrrring! The phone-bot scuttled over to Black Hat's desk, only to have the phone nearly ripped from its cord by the demon. Black Hat was about to yell at the person on the other end only to be cut off by a certain other someone.

"Black Hat, please don't be upset with me. It wasn't my fault, I swear! How was I supposed to know that Miss Heed could read minds?" White Hat seemed to be really panicked, and given the context of, well, everything, Black Hat felt uneasy.

"White, what in Hell's name are you talking about?"

"They know, Black Hat. The Heros Association found out you're pregnant, and the news' only leaked out from there."

Well shoot.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It has been a week since Black Hat received the doomed phone call from his brother, Black Hat hadn't left his room since. He tried, many times, but even stepping one foot outside his door made him feel really anxious. Black Hat, feeling to agitated to relax, was currently pacing his room, despite the weight of his spawn killing his back.

The was a knocking at the door, to which Black Hat froze. But as the knocking continued, he was able to recognize the pattern as his scientist's and relax a little. Black Hat made his way to sit on his bed, as quickly as he could with his encumbrance. 

"Come in." The timid scientist slowly opened the door to Black Hat's room.

"T-the security system has taken out 56 heros so far sir, and most of remaining stragglers have given up and gone home. At this time there are only three heros rendering, which I plan on taking care of myself."

"It's about time. I was starting to think your invention was just as useless asssss-" Black Hat hissed as one of his spawn decided to give his spine a particularly hard kick.

"Jefecito, are you alright?"

"No, one of the little monsters kicked me in the spine. I'm already in a lot of pain without them squirming around in there all day long."

"Oh, would you like me to give you a massage? I can't say I'm very good at it, but I have been learning."

"Yes, please." Flug seemed shocked for a moment at Black Hat's use of pleasantries, but really, when you're constantly in pain you'd do just about anything to make it stop. As Flug approached the bed, Black Hat layed down on his side, back facing the scientist.

Flug lifted up Black Hat's shirt a bit before digging into the eldritch's back with his palms and fingers. Flug's hands pressing down into his muscles, moving in soothing circular motions, it really was the balm he needed. Black Hat could feel the worst of his aches disapating, making him feel oddly serene. In his tranquil state, Black Hat had the passing thought of how glad he was to have his mate taking care of him.

Wait, what?

Oh. Well that certainly explained some things. He should probably tell Flug of this revelation, what with him being his... mate and all. Black Hat heaved himself into an upwards position before clearing his throat, the course of at least one of these actions startling the scientist.

"As you already know I am without my powers. This is normal in pregnancies amongst my kind, which is why we usually have a mate to take care of us. Not being near a mate leaves us feeling anxious most of the time, something I have experienced first hand.

I'm sure you've noticed that I've been acting less harsh towards you lately. At the very least I've certainly noticed that tend to feel safe around you. I can't believe I'm saying this, or that it's taken me this long to figure it out, but I Flug, it seems that you are my mate." Flug stood there in shock for a moment, dark goggles betraying no emotion. Just as suddenly as he became still, he snapped of his stupor, livening up again.

"¿Q-que? Why me? Hold on... when you say 'mate', you don't mean you want to-"

"Of course not! Get your mind out of the gutter lest it rot with the leaves. I simply mean for you to continue on with what you've been doing: protect me. And this is really your fault you know, acting so mately and all."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Why don't you come downstairs with me? It's been over a week since you've holed yourself up in here, surely you could do with stretching your legs." It was true, Black Hat was getting a little stir crazy, and it had been days since any would-be heros showed up. The last heros that had turned up Black Hat was playing host to in the torture chamber, where doctor Flug would be turning them into guinea pigs (literally). So surely it wouldn't hurt to leave his room. And it wasn't like as if he'd be alone, Flug would be there to protect him. He'd be safe.

Black Hat went with the doctor of course, but when they reached the living room, it wasn't as peaceful as he had expected. 

"Flug, I take back every nice thing I've ever said about you. Just what. Are these people. Doing in my house!?"

"W-well you see sir, news of your p-pregnancy was very positively received by the villainous community. So much so that they planned on a baby shower. They kind of dragged me in on it too."

"We have presents. Please don't kill me." One of the villains, Mawrasite, bowed down and was grovelling at his feet. He couldn't see her head beyond his grotesquely distended stomach, but he could tell by the disgusting squelching noises that she was kissing his shoes. Aside from the gross shoe kissing, Black Hat was honestly touched that these people, villains who he had previously thought would be out to get him, were instead celebrating the cause to his weakness. He'd had to control himself before his blasted hormones got the better of him.

"Fine, but if even any one of you roaches try to touch me, I will rip out your entrails, keep you alive with my unholy powers, and I will force you to eat them. With that being said, let's get this thing over with."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was while they were having cake and having a gay old time that Black Hat remembered something. Black Hat went downstairs to the dungeon, carrying a slice of cake with him. Balancing the cake and fork on the plate with one hand, Black Hat searched through all the keys on a hook before finding and grabbing the one he was looking for. Key in hand, Black Hat approached the cell with a villain he had seen just a couple months ago. Black Hat turned the key and opened the door before resuming to his cake. 

"Yeah, so anyway, the whole metaphorical cat's out of the bag now. No need for you to waste up space in here. You can stay for the party, if you'd like. There's cake, it's strawberry. Oh, and I actually did release your family before exactly when I said I would. They were just ignoring you."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"It has come to my attention that my spawn are in need of names. I really couldn't care less what they're called, so I'm leaving that up to you two. Keep in mind that a typical demon pregnancy yeilds about a dozen eggs. It'll likely be fewer than that but still."

"Orville!" Demencia spouted out immediately. Probably best not to think about why she already had thought up names for his children. "Anyway, you're probably going to name them something dumb, like an airplane, aren't you Flug?" 

"Pfft, no, of course not. I was actually also thinking Orville. And Wilbur. Although I doubt you know enough about anything to know about the history of aerodynamics. Why did you choose Orville?" This was just getting ridiculous, and frankly Black Hat was too tired to put up with anymore of this. So he slipped out of the room and went off to his own.

"After Orville Deadenbacher, duh! He's only the second most handsomest man in the universe."

"The... food scientist? ...You know what, forget I asked."

"Done!" Demencia stuck out her tongue gleefully. "Now what were we talking about?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ja ja, why am I so self conscious about this chapter? Is it because it remains unfinished and always shall? Or maybe it's the many disjointed smaller parts compiled into one large chapter, and I'm just not used to this. Or perhaps it's the content itself, which I would most certainly not sure to my mother. Anywho, hope you enjoyed, and more importantly, hope you guys are staying safe this holiday season. Beware of Santa.


	9. Monopoly Money

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry that this came out so late. But we're finally here, at the end! Yay. Some good news though, I finally got my sister to watch The Dreadful Dawn, and she liked it well enough. I don't think she's as crazy for this show as I am, but maybe that's for the best. I mean, imagine if she actually found my fics. Ja ja, yeah...
> 
> Edit: Changed username. She definitely would have recognized the old one. Hope it's not too late.

"Oh Blackie." Demencia said in a sing-songy voice as she once again breaks into Black Hat's room, this time through the actual door. "We're all going to play Monopoly, wanna join us? Come on, it'll be fun. I got dibs on the t-rex!" Black Hat was laying on his bed, reading some horror novel that he wasn't even particularly invested in.

"Eh, fine, I was getting bored here anyway. A little help?" Demencia held out her arm which he used as leverage to hoist himself out of bed. How embarrassing, not only could he not get out of bed by himself anymore, but even with help the action left him winded. He actually had to take a moment to catch his breath, something that he himself didn't even need! That's what he gets, he supposed, being six months pregnant with half-breed spawn.

Demencia then helped him walk over to the dining room where'd they'd be playing their game. Scratch that, not even walk. No, what he was doing was a waddle that would put the Penguin to shame. Black Hat lowered himself slowly into the dining chair before selecting his piece (the top hat of course).

Having been conducting business long before the game was ever invented, Black Hat was, naturally, good at the game. However not even he was immune to the roll of the die (well actually, he could if he wanted to be, but that would just make things boring), and so he would not always win. Usually he would lose to Flug, but on rare occasions they'd both lose to the bear. Demencia, on the other hand, would always fail beautifully.

5.0.5. went first, rolling a one and a two, putting him at Baltic Avenue. "Baw." Looks like the bear didn't want it, which meant that they would have to start a bid. Goodbye Demencia.

"I'm gonna start the bid at ten dollars!" Looks like Demencia was starting at the bare minimum this time around. This was fine.

"Eleven." Why offer to pay more than you need to? Going up by only one increment at a time tended to give the added bonus of annoying the other people in the room. They'll give up faster and you pay less, or, in Demencia's case...

"A million dollars." Demencia smirked, looking confident despite having doomed herself. That escalated rather quickly actually. Usually they'd get to at least twenty dollars before she got to this point. However, Black Hat felt like continuing the bid anyway, for his own amusement.

"One million and -gah!" A familiar searing pain shot through Black Hat's stomach, signifying the fact that he had just gone into labor. And just in case there were any doubts in his mind as to what was happening, the instincts that had already begun to scream at him to retreat to the safety of his nest, which he squashed. Not that he had even bothered making a nest this time around, knowing that he wouldn't be laying eggs.

"Jefecito, are you alright?" 

"No I'm not bloody alright, the parasites in my body had just decided to hit the eject button."

"Oh! Well I've got everything prepped already in my lab. A-and you're sure that you're in labor? Not just braxton hicks? Has your water broken yet?" Black Hat didn't understand all this... sciency medical jargon that the doctor was using, likely symptoms of the non-egg laying species, but how dare Flug doubt him! He's done this before, he knows what it feels like. 

"Of course in labor, I wouldn't say I were if I weren't. Now help me get up and to the lab." Immediately 5.0.5. rushed to his side and picked him up bridal style like he weighed nothing. "Not like that you dolt, put me down!" Panicking, the bear simply dropped him. His hip, which as the rest of him had been bothering him already before, exploded in sheer agony as he landed on it. In all his existence, Black Hat had not felt a pain more intense. While Black Hat was pretty sure that it hadn't, it felt as if his whole pelvis had been smashed and shattered. It actually brought him to tears.

"5.0.5.! Why would you do that? You can't just drop a pregnant person, he's delicate." Under ordinary circumstances Black hat would have yelled at Flug for calling him that, but instead all he could elicit was a pathetic whimper. Perhaps Flug had a point. He couldn't even move without experiencing those sharp daggers of pain, much less walk at this point.

"Fine, whatever, pick me up if you have to." Black Hat's voice betrayed him, expressing the pain he was in, try as he might to keep that out of his tone. 5.0.5. picked him up again, gently this time and hopefully without risk of dropping him again. The pain from said dropping was finally starting to fade when another contraction hit him. Black Hat bit back a cry of pain as he buried his face into the bear's soft fur.

By the time that Black Hat had recovered from the whole ordeal he realized that they had made it to the lab where Flug rushed to roll out a metal table to the center of the room. Black Hat assumed that this was the table where Flug would be cutting him open, his suspensions only confirmed when 5.0.5. set the demon down onto said table. From there Black Hat saw Flug approach him with a syringe about halfway full with some mysterious substance.

"So what I'm going to do is inject an epidural block into your spine. This will numb the lower part of your body so that you don't feel any pain as I perform surgery on you, but it might take a few minutes. Any questions?" The doctor made several wild gestures mostly pointed towards the syringe in question as he explained this step of the procedure.

"Just get on with it." Black Hat grumbled impatiently.

"Ok, do you think you could move onto your side for me jefe?" Black Hat just grunted in response before shifting over. Black Hat barely even felt the needle sliding into his body, but he did feel another set of contractions occurring as the scientist did so. It seemed to be an eternity later before the pain finally subsided.

"I don't think it's working." 

"Like I said, it takes a moment." Flug said, not looking up from the equipment he has apparently been sterilizing. With not much else to do Black Hat contemplated on how uncomfortable the table was. Especially to his poor, abused body (he wasn't about to forgive 5.0.5. for dropping him anytime soon. And he certainly want going to be quiet about it either!). "Alright sir, it should be in effect by now." 

Flug grabbed a scalpel and started cutting into his gut. As promised, the epidural seemed to work after all and he barely felt and thing. Black Hat couldn't really tell exactly what the scientist was doing, but there wasn't as much blood flowing out from him as he had expected, so Flug must be doing something right.

Before too long, Flug pulled out the first of his spawn. It has only just come into this world and yet to Black Hat's dismay it had already started with its screaming. It had some kind of weird discolored tentacle coming out from its stomach, which Flug promptly cut off. Flug then handed the flailing child to 5.0.5.

"Baw!" According to the bear, this one was male, however, if it was anything like him it would actually be both. As 5.0.5. cleaned up his spawn Flug got back to working on freeing the other spawn. Soon enough, Flug presented a second baby, this one seemingly screaming even louder than the first. Once again Flug cut off the tendril and handed it off to the bear. "Baroo." Huh, this one's a female. Perhaps the human in them removed their hermaphroditic nature after all. Not that it really mattered, Black Hat supposed, but he really should have seen it coming. 

Flug reached inside of him and pulled out another infant. Unlike the first two who came into this world screaming (they still were screaming, despite 5.0.5.'s attempts at quieting them down), this one was silent. It was rather eerie, actually. Despite his earlier complaints about the noisiness of his spawn, Black Hat knew deep within his being that something was wrong. Black Hat felt his chest tighten as his suspensions were confirmed by the anxious scientist when he saw the concern written across the bag.

"No no no" Even with his keen senses, Black Hat barley heard Flug's whispers. Black Hat was terrified, for the first time in his pathetic existence he was scared for the well being of something that was not himself. That in itself scared him. Flug pushed down on the infant's tiny chest with just two fingers. Up and down and up and down at a regular pace until the newborn finally coughed up fluid. There was a collective sigh of relief and Black Hat was able to relax again. Once again Flug handed off the babe over 5.0.5., who eagerly took them and declared then a male.

With the third spawn being taken care of, Flug resumed his digging and grabbed yet a fourth child. Whilst the first three actually resembled human babies, this one was a mere disgusting mass of flesh. This one surely was the best of the lot, having taken the most after his demonic nat- Flug tossed it into the waste bin, to which Black Hat let out an unholy screech.

"What do you think you're doing to my child!?" Black Hat attempted to rake his claws against the stupid worthless idiot doctor's face, but unfortunately missed and nearly fell off the table instead. The only thing stopping him from rolling off was said idiot, who caught him and rolled him back onto his back. 

"S-sir, d-don't do that, you could hurt yourself. In case you haven't noticed there is a gaping wound in your stomach. As for, um, that other thing, that is the placenta, which is what your actual children were living in before they were born. That is not your child"

"Right, I knew that." Black Hat muttered. Stupid humans and their stupid human things. Flug threaded a needle with some sutures. Funny how "needle" was simply a long thin piece of metal, regardless of it's uses. It could be used to inject a liquid into your body, or to take. It could be used to piece things together, like what Flug was doing with his flesh at this very moment. Heck, it could just simply be an instrument used to stab people to their death. En guarde indeed. 

"There we go." Flug said as he tied off the end of the suture. "I'd recommend you moving as little as possible for the next few days, and to continue taking it easy a couple weeks after that. Although, you probably wouldn't need as much time as a human now that I think about it, what with you being an ungodly abomination and all."

Black Hat ran his claws over the stitches, his stomach flatter than it had been in months. It was odd. He had grown used to the weighty encumbrance of his unborn spawn, feeling them kicking and squirming inside him. It felt as if he had lost something. Black Hat shook this feeling aside and glanced up at 5.0.5., who seemed to be struggling trying to hold on to three babies at once.

"Oh, would you like to hold one of your children?" Flug asked when he noticed Black Hat's gaze.

"What sort of question is that? Of course I do!" Black Hat winced as he sat up to take the newborn that was handed to him. Whereas they had still been squirming and whining while in the bear's care, they calmed down immensely upon being returned to him. Black Hat held the spawn in the crook of his arm. It felt natural to hold them like this. As Black Hat began rocking his child, he thought to himself that maybe, just maybe, things wouldn't be so bad after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank goodness this dumpster fire is finally over with. Now that this fic is done and over with, I will work on finishing my other, preexisting fics before moving on to doing more. I have do three more fic ideas, plus one or two more but for another fandom, and a few one shots in mind already, but I'll be working on them one at a time though. Bear with me please.

**Author's Note:**

> So, I've decided that I was going to binge watch Red vs Blue again, and now whenever I try to read anything Black Hat says, I imagine his voice to be O'malley's. Gosh darn it. Also, I completely forgot that this show was my first experience with mpreg. It all went downhill from there...


End file.
